I have had an epiphany. After spending way more than myfairshare at the aspca, ive decided that this isnt worth it. I am now into shrubs. \
Anonymous asked: I'd storm your castle.
When you were little and something inappropriate...
sodamnrelatable: Your parents are like “Close your eyes” And you’re like “Let me see” it turns me, zoe, on that the owl wants to watch . watch it. watch. #orgasm
Anonymous asked: What does eating worms have to do with bestiality?
O-M-G guys today i was taking a casual walk through the woods when i saw THE sexiest worm. ohhh. i was like hey im zoe lets skip the small talk and i just ate him. mmmmm. woods. worms. sex appeal.
Whats the difference between a brothel and the aspca? ………………………………………… one is free.
Anonymous asked: i luv ur posts. thnx so much for making me horny.
Anonymous asked: r u in 2 bestiality? me 2. plz msg bak so we can tlk.
ceesquatch: when an animal doesn’t like me it really impacts my self esteem
When a cat tries to bite you, it almost tickles. This is just a testament to the nature of cats. Even when they try to hurt, they help. And then I bang them and they can’t tell anyone.
That moment when your friends dog humps your leg, and you have to pretend like you don’t like it.
I want to have sex with a koala.
Anonymous asked: Don't you dare turn my precious blog into anime. and change the description so people it's not me
I will leave you all with this message. Decode it if you like: so metime siea tpo op. See you all on the half year. it has been nice eating with you. omity. nomity. nom. #bawling
Sometimes I just want to bury my face in a big bowl of potatoes.
liveinphoenix: am i the only person who randomly remembers text posts like in the middle of the day and just starts laughing
silenthill: i got 99 problems and money could solve at least 73 of them
I’m going to open up a milkshake place called “The Yard.”
urbran: if beyonce doesn’t sing at my birthday party i’m not having one
Anonymous asked: Any last words. And by that I mean I can't and won't. Give it a week. Work it into your schedule. You don't need a life when tumblr lives within you. Whether by page or by screen, tumblr will always be there to welcome you home.
Anonymous asked: will paul still post stuff
heronqueenblues: there’s a big difference between racism and dinosaurs which is probably why no one confuses them
Anonymous asked: IF YOU DO IT I SWEAR MMMMHMHMM